This leap would make a lot more sense if I had a formal business plan, if I had a huge income, if I had someone financing my dreams. I could put my faith in an elaborate plan or a steady paycheck. I could put my faith in people to make my dreams come true. But my faith is in God. I trust Him. I want to see what He has in mind for my life. I can see the family He has given me and I want to build my house up like the wise woman in Proverbs 14.
To the world, perhaps, I was already a wise woman. I had a solid career, a paycheck, a beautiful family, two cars... I could go on. But in the eyes of God, I am pretty sure I was the foolish woman tearing my house down with my own two hands. I fought with my husband daily, we struggled to work together on anything (mostly because I think I am always right). When he didn't meet my expectations, I struggled to see him as my equal, treat him as an equal, and respect him the way God has called a wife to respect her husband. I didn't trust God with my marriage. My family was falling apart.
Once I accepted that reality, I stopped trying to control so much of my life. I focused on my relationship with God. I focused on what He was calling me to do. I focused on who He was calling me to BE. I accepted that this career-woman phase of my life was over and I paid attention. I listened. God called me to be a present and active mother. I cried. God called me to be an honorable, respectful, and loving wife. I prayed fervently. God called me to love my neighbors, to be involved in my community. I showed up. God called me to love other women who might be tearing down their house with their own two hands. I shared my story. God called me to support women in building up their homes and answering his calling in their own lives. I organized social events.
Now, for the leap; I quit my day job to become a full-time entrepreneur. I have vision and support but it is still scary. It is scary to be in the unknown. I don't know how much money I will make, if I will be able to afford a place to live and food to feed my family. My husband has been a stay-at-home dad. I praise God that he is supportive of this small business. He is honest about his concern in losing the comfort of my steady paycheck. But he is working on products, creating tools, and proposing new ideas every day.
My husband is supporting me. He is supporting my leap of faith. We pray more. We are trusting God together. As Matthew 6 tells us, God loves us more than the birds he cares for; he knows we need a place to sleep, food to eat and clothes to wear. We choose to believe it. We want to put more effort into honoring the life God has given us; the roles of spouse, parent, and neighbor.
This isn't comfortable. This leap of faith is stretching us. I don't know if God will bless the business with the HUGE success I believe is possible. But I know he will take care of us. I know he will take care of my family. I know he wants us to trust him fully. He wants me to trust him fully. So, I leap.